No one really truly loves anyone.
Everyone loves conditionally.
Most love is conditioned, control based, or fear based.
It is all about the self.
So, we live off a prescriptive checklist, and believe that if we don’t follow that checklist, then we are somehow lesser than.
A child who comes into this world with spirit is then ruined by us giving them that checklist. “This is how I define success, failure, reason, beauty and achievement.”
And now, follow this way or you’re an outcast in my eyes undeserving of parental love.
This immediate placement of a way to be, obscures the ability for their children to develop their own unique way. And you will see, most parents do not accept their children for who it is they are, because they are not “enough.”
And I show parents the reason why they do this is because they haven’t accepted themselves for who they are.
The main battle is, “my children are not who I thought they would be.”
Not a superstar soccer player, or a fantastic pianist, or an obedient little servant.
Most parents who are raised on a diet of overachievement, have a very hard time understanding that their drive is not necessary, but coming out of their inadequacy, and their fear.
They have been indoctrinated to compensate for this, and they never fully healed from their encounters with their ordinariness.
And so, when I say that that’s what’s driving you, and then they get in touch with their little boy, or little girl, who truly felt ordinariness, that’s when the epiphany occurs.
So, I make them see how they’re projecting onto their children. Don’t do this to them.
Your children are okay and whole in their ordinariness. The children don’t need more to feel more of themselves.
They didn’t come with this egotistic desire to attach PhDs or labels or judgements or wealth to be themselves. Children are themselve just by living their truth.
They have the simplest access to wholeness.
Yet we rob them of this when we shove our own ideals onto them. To truly love someone, it’s loving the other for who it is they are. They don’t have to love you back, they don’t have to agree with you, they don’t have to adhere to you.